Thursday, March 29, 2007

moment piece.

Hey Dela,

Here is my drawing of the moment piece. I really wanted to zoom in more on the characters. Any comments as to how to make the composition better or changes to expressions would be great. Should I also do a line drawing of my old environment instead of the maya snap shot?


Dela Longfish said...


I really like where you are going with this piece. Coming in close on these characters is giving us a very intimite moment, and that compliments the characters and story you've come up with.

Again I like this piece so the feedback I'm giving you is to support the story you're tryng to tell with it.

Dela Longfish said...

Let me Explain what I attached.

I want to use the work you already have here. I don't want you doing unnecessary work.

1. Your original piece. First off I love how you have the stairs coming right in to the little girl. That really helps bring the eye into the focus.

2. This is about breaking down your composition to it's basic shapes. This can help establish your primary focus. When you break it down you can see what is reading without the detail.
Right now (2a) it feels compostionally that it is diagonally leading the eye off the page right to left.
It also feels like we're really crowding the grandfather in the piece.

3. Here's an option of solving it using what you have and not starting over. Expand the boarder. This allows us to keep the close shot, without feeling like an extreme close up. I think it sells the intimacy a little more.

4. With the extra space we can bring in some foreground elements that will help frame our focus (the little girl and the grandfather) as well as keeping our eye in the piece and solving the diagonal direction from 2.

With these fore ground elements I would take the chance to do more stroy telling. Put more dolls, pins, cans, any of the great stroy telling you have in your characters.

5. This just pushes the colum behind the grandpa to the right and gets rid of that tangent. It also visually help lead the eye in the girl.
That's what we talks about with a visuall hierarchy of shapes. Big medium and small can lead the eye.

6. Just deals with the space on the desk. Drop a 2D design there, could be a matt or pins or even a nice texture.

In case you were already thinking about doing any of this or I missed something you did, my bad.

Again nice work!

Dela Longfish said...

Sorry man missed a couple things.

On number 4, you might also want to have the foreground elements in front of the Grandpa lower a little so we start to see more of his body. I think that would help him not fell so cramped.

And, the last step. Compare see if you like what those changes have done to the orignal. If you like them keep them, if not toss them.

Nigel Li said...

wow dela!

Thanks so much for the detailed comments. I was struggling with the composition alot. I spent so much time trying to change it as im painting. I got to a point where i really didnt know what to do. Thank god i checked the blog. I will try all the suggestions, and come up with a nice piece for class. Again, thanks alot.